Who we are
Real Coffee.
Ridiculous Geese.
Silly Goose Roasters is a small-batch specialty coffee company in Rancho Cucamonga, California — founded by a husband-and-wife team, and run (at least on paper) by a flock of five opinionated geese.
How a Joke Became a Roastery
It started the way most questionable ideas do: between two people who drink too much coffee. We're Ignacio and Paulette — married, mildly over-caffeinated, and founders of Silly Goose Roasters since 2025.
Somewhere between the third pour-over of the morning and naming a particularly smug goose "Gerald," the joke stopped being a joke. It became a coffee line — and then a whole illustrated mythology we call the Goose Gospels, with a cast of geese who each have a roast, a backstory, and far more opinions than any waterfowl reasonably should.
Gerald, naturally, takes full credit for the entire operation. He'll tell you he founded the company himself. We let him think that.
Both completely sincere."
What We're Actually Serious About
The geese are ridiculous on purpose. The coffee never is. Every batch is roasted to order in small lots, so what lands on your doorstep is fresh — not pulled off a warehouse shelf where it's been sitting since who-knows-when.
Our lineup runs deep: single origins sourced from farms and cooperatives around the world, house and regional blends, flavored roasts, low-caffeine and decaf options, a full loose-leaf tea collection, and single-serve pods and instant for the mornings you simply cannot. Whole bean or ground, your call.
The way we see it, the story is the product and the product is the story. You're not just buying a bag of coffee — you're picking a goose, joining the flock, and finding out what Gerald would think of your brewing technique. (He has thoughts. He always has thoughts.)
Meet the Flock
Five geese. Five roasts. One barely-functional chain of command.
- Gerald — founder, head roaster, and first of his kind. Sarcastic, wears a tie, won't explain himself.
- Morton — Gerald's anxious, overachieving right wing. Keeps the whole operation running on a clipboard (sometimes two).
- Bro Joe — the relentlessly motivational dark-roast devotee, with one wing noticeably more developed than the other.
- Maple — the warm light-roast purist who mothers the entire flock. The good cup is always already poured.
- Pip — the curious, decaf-and-tea-loving youngest of the flock (they/them), with more questions than anyone can answer.