Meet the Flock
Meet the Flock
Every bag of coffee you've ever loved was roasted, matched, hyped, tended, or questioned by one of these five geese. Learn their stories. Pick your goose. The coffee makes more sense once you do.
Nobody knows exactly where Gerald came from. What is known is that he was already particular about coffee before anyone thought to be — and that whatever he's roasting right now is probably the best thing you'll drink this week. He won't tell you that. You'll figure it out yourself.
"You're welcome."
Read the Gospel →Anxious overachiever. Has a spreadsheet for his spreadsheets. Has matched every customer to their perfect cup with uncanny, slightly unsettling accuracy. He stays up until 11pm making sure nothing goes wrong. Nothing goes wrong.
"Filed in triplicate."
Read the Gospel →Shows up at 5am. Has a forty-eight ounce mug. Genuinely believes dark roast is a lifestyle and that you are capable of more than you know. His right wing is slightly overdeveloped. He never explains why.
"Let's go."
Read the Gospel →Arrived one afternoon, sat on the porch, and never left. Drinks her coffee at 4pm. Knows when you need to sit down before you do. Every goose in the flock ends up on her porch eventually. She keeps a second cup ready, just in case.
"Pull up a chair."
Read the Gospel →The youngest of the flock. Loves decaf with a sincerity that Gerald finds baffling and Morton finds statistically significant. Has more questions than anyone knows what to do with. This is, the flock has decided, a feature.
"Plenty of questions."
Read the Gospel →"Gerald roasts the coffee. Morton ships the coffee. Bro Joe sells the coffee. Maple decides whether the coffee was worth doing. Pip has a question about all of it."
The Goose Gospels · Silly Goose Roasters